Life as an arthritis bearer is like a rollercoaster. I'm always grateful I'm not on the most severe end of the pain like many people are but right now I'm feeling super grateful for people around me who treat me just like they treat other people.
It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed, its not been easy and I've cried more in this time than I have in my life. I've travelled mental, emotional and spiritual paths that sometimes felt like it would break me yet something inside just keeps going, I don't think I have the gene to actually give up, and that is a good thing. I've learned so much, matured in ways I wouldn't have otherwise and been humbled in ways that I didn't think I needed humbling. It's all good to me b/c I don't mind seeing my weaknesses/failures and working on them, I don't wear a brick wall around me or a defensive bomb when something isn't what I want to hear. I'm grateful for that trait b/c it means I can continually grow, I avoid {even by the skin of my teeth} becoming what I don't want to be and most importantly the better a person I am the better role model I can be for my children and granddaughters.
So, that said I've had to learn how to accept help. I know, so many of us struggle with this, so many of us are used to being the one that helps others and/or gets things done so when that becomes hindered or stops it's quite an ordeal for us to accept.
That's where I hugely count my blessings. I have met some great people this last 10 months, some with similar or differing health conditions, some b/c we share the same interests and some b/c we have the same {probably silly} sense of humour. The thing that is so wonderful about these people is that none of them knew me before the arthritis took over. None of them knew the whirlwind I often was so seeing me now on my good and not so good days is part of the course for them. They've seen me break down in tears in sheer frustration, seen me struggle when I was getting troubles from a neighbour, the gossips, half stories and some lies, they were there, supporting and encouraging me. They were there when I felt on top of the world, relying on takeaways when Kirsten was out or ill. They've reminded me of my good points, the strengths, they reminded me its ok to be down and frustrated and angry so long as its a stepping stone not a destination. They've helped me with chores in the house, staying focussed on my daily life and my business, let me just be me, no matter what.
I hope I am a good friend to those in return. I love to serve, help, support, encourage.. I don't bode well with negativity so I've also had to lose one or two people along the way. There's a difference between a rant/frustration to an opinion/judgement. I have to be aware of what my kids hear, how we project ourselves so we do put the best of us across. I believe not every thought needs to be said, much less in public. I think keeping it real is a balance I'm still working on but enables us to feel more stable in rough times.
My arthritis is a drop in the ocean to what many are enduring. I count my blessings I don't have a terminal illness. I don't underestimate the condition for me, my children or how it affects us all. I talk about it a lot b/c it's my way of acknowledge it, taking ownership of it then finding something positive b/c of it. I need that positive attitude to live the other areas of my life that I can still do competently.
Having my friends and family still confide in me is precious. Knowing that they now understand that my arthritis is not who I am means they know they can still come to me, be it for advice, direction, ideas, a rant or anything else. It means they don't see the arthritis first, the disability I have in walking and standing, it means that Debs is the person first, mom, daughter, friend and all else I am. I'm grateful that the majority of people are so keen to be aware but not seclude me to any one label. The one label I'm most proud of though is 'Mom'. It's the best decision I have ever made.
Debs
It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed, its not been easy and I've cried more in this time than I have in my life. I've travelled mental, emotional and spiritual paths that sometimes felt like it would break me yet something inside just keeps going, I don't think I have the gene to actually give up, and that is a good thing. I've learned so much, matured in ways I wouldn't have otherwise and been humbled in ways that I didn't think I needed humbling. It's all good to me b/c I don't mind seeing my weaknesses/failures and working on them, I don't wear a brick wall around me or a defensive bomb when something isn't what I want to hear. I'm grateful for that trait b/c it means I can continually grow, I avoid {even by the skin of my teeth} becoming what I don't want to be and most importantly the better a person I am the better role model I can be for my children and granddaughters.
So, that said I've had to learn how to accept help. I know, so many of us struggle with this, so many of us are used to being the one that helps others and/or gets things done so when that becomes hindered or stops it's quite an ordeal for us to accept.
That's where I hugely count my blessings. I have met some great people this last 10 months, some with similar or differing health conditions, some b/c we share the same interests and some b/c we have the same {probably silly} sense of humour. The thing that is so wonderful about these people is that none of them knew me before the arthritis took over. None of them knew the whirlwind I often was so seeing me now on my good and not so good days is part of the course for them. They've seen me break down in tears in sheer frustration, seen me struggle when I was getting troubles from a neighbour, the gossips, half stories and some lies, they were there, supporting and encouraging me. They were there when I felt on top of the world, relying on takeaways when Kirsten was out or ill. They've reminded me of my good points, the strengths, they reminded me its ok to be down and frustrated and angry so long as its a stepping stone not a destination. They've helped me with chores in the house, staying focussed on my daily life and my business, let me just be me, no matter what.
I hope I am a good friend to those in return. I love to serve, help, support, encourage.. I don't bode well with negativity so I've also had to lose one or two people along the way. There's a difference between a rant/frustration to an opinion/judgement. I have to be aware of what my kids hear, how we project ourselves so we do put the best of us across. I believe not every thought needs to be said, much less in public. I think keeping it real is a balance I'm still working on but enables us to feel more stable in rough times.
My arthritis is a drop in the ocean to what many are enduring. I count my blessings I don't have a terminal illness. I don't underestimate the condition for me, my children or how it affects us all. I talk about it a lot b/c it's my way of acknowledge it, taking ownership of it then finding something positive b/c of it. I need that positive attitude to live the other areas of my life that I can still do competently.
Having my friends and family still confide in me is precious. Knowing that they now understand that my arthritis is not who I am means they know they can still come to me, be it for advice, direction, ideas, a rant or anything else. It means they don't see the arthritis first, the disability I have in walking and standing, it means that Debs is the person first, mom, daughter, friend and all else I am. I'm grateful that the majority of people are so keen to be aware but not seclude me to any one label. The one label I'm most proud of though is 'Mom'. It's the best decision I have ever made.
Debs
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